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How do you choose to suffer?

Pleasure is an easy question. And pretty much all of us have similar answers. The more interesting question is the pain.

To get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life.

I wanted the reward and not the struggle. I wanted the result and not the process. I was in love not with the fight, but only the victory.

The most important question of your life
The most important question you will ever ask yourself might surprise you. Find out what it is here.
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Father traumas are everywhere. You are not alone in this resentment.

As many men in modern societies, I have witnessed these pains from the wounded feminine. And I would say this applies to a lot of women (and men). Men see the effects as demands and expectations, many times unrealistic and/or contradictory in nature. This is not meant as criticism towards women or to glorify masculine reactivity. Men must continue to focus on their work; set goals, clarify purpose, accomplish, provide, staying attuned to both the environment and our bodies. Less distractions like inhumane work schedules and chasing women/sex.

Signs of father wounds in women:

1. The demand for perfection. Although most men want a reflection and being measured to know if we are on track, unrealistic demands can have a devastating effect on men’s self-worth, and serves as a breeding ground for toxic masculinity and incel culture.

2. The trust issue. I would be bold enough to claim that what a man loves in a woman is her vulnerability and openness. But trust is gained in drops, and lost in buckets. Trust issues can keep men on the edge, always in the need to prove they can be trusted. Look at it as a test on your patience. On the other side, men can also see and feel the traumas left in women by previous relationships and/or father wounds. Be empathetic, it’s not easy to be a trusting woman nowadays.

3. A naive woman is a sexy red flag. Innocence has a sexy connotation, but apart from that, I have never quite understood why womem’s naïveté triggered me so much and why they would carry an extreme fear of being alone/single. Jumping into new relationships and underestimating the intentions of other men. We have to accept our differences; men are usually fixed and women are usually fluid. See it as a challenge: Naïveté is where the man steps up in love; from listening to leading.

Also on: Spotify

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by Malcolm GladwellMalcolm Gladwell (The tipping point)
Transactive memory is part of what intimacy means. In fact, Wegner argues, it is the loss of this kind of joint memory that helps to make divorce so painful. "Divorced people who suffer depression and complain of cognitive dysfunction may be expressing the loss of their external memory systems", he writes. "They once were able to discuss their experiences to reach a shared understanding... They once could count on this access to a wide range of storage in their partner, and this, too, is gone... The loss of transactive memory feels like losing a part of one's own mind".
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We all have a cup of bitterness in our lives, but we should never drink it as a cup of bitterness – with resistance, but we should drink it as a cure. This is beautiful. To understand that pain is a gift. That it is an important process of our soul development.